The Art of Infant Pottying

Before my son was born the topic of diapering, infant potty-training, EC (elimination communication) and so on came up between my partner and I. I started getting curious about the topic, and did a little research. My biggest questions were: what did our ancestors do before Pampers? What do cultures that don’t have access to diapers do? I knew there had to be a better way to work with my child’s elimination cycles. I have learned so much already through this journey, but I’ll start with the basics.

I believed in my child’s ability to communicate his needs to me. I knew it was my job to figure out what he was communicating, how he was doing it, and how to respond. I gave myself some parameters- the first month I’d give myself a break, an adjustment period into becoming a Mother, healing my body, getting some rest, and so on. At four weeks old we started cloth diapering, and noticed a shift in Adonai’s behavior. He preferred the cloth. I think it felt better on him that disposables. It kept us more awake to his elimination cycles- he was noticeably wet quicker. That was really the goal with this- for us all to be awake about his elimination, to be conscious, and respond to it. Children who wear disposable diapers become oblivious to the fact that they are even wetting themselves because they don’t feel it! Starting early, we knew we could harmonize more fully with what was natural- to teach Adonai to use the potty whenever possible

It started out with my feeble attempts at holding him over one of my most prized hand-me-downs- a baby bjorn blue potty seat. I held him in the squat position, my hands supporting the backs of his legs, his back to my belly, and made a “pss” sound. First attempt, he went right for it, and peed in the potty. I was astounded, surprised, actually, that it worked! I realized my fears and disbeliefs about this whole process working were in the way, so I worked to clean that up, quick! The first attempt was in the middle of the day, during a diaper change. I wasn’t really sure what I was doing, but it worked. Each successive attempt seemed fruitful too. In those early days, he went in the potty about 70% of the time. The best was at about 8 weeks old we got him going poop in the potty every morning- it was like clockwork. He would wake up between 6 and 7 am, and need to go, and we kept the potty right by our bed. He went every time, without fail. No misses, no messes, no poopy diapers to clean up. I could get used to this!!

Since then this process has been equally successful to the amount of time I invest into it. As the weather warmed, it became appropriate to let Adonai be diaper-free during the daytime on days I was home. I could really study him and figure out how often he was peeing, his cues, and so on. While holding him he would always squirm first and arch his back before peeing. Some people might think you are carrying a loaded weapon if you tote around a naked infant… but it is all a matter of perspective. When I was super diligent and attentive, most hours he would pee three times. Now that is a lot of attention to be focused on peeing! So it all depends on how much you want to put into it. It seems to not matter if I am super disciplined and he goes in the potty all day, and the next day I am out, or working, and not able to get him to the potty as often. He still knows what to do, and does it almost every time it is requested.

These days it has turned more into a system of routine. I know he pees when he wakes up, he pees after eating, he pees more in the late morning (still processing all that extra night-time nursing milk!). He poops nearly every morning. Sometimes the pooping takes patience, but it is so worth it. I love the fact that I can count on my fingers the number of poopy diapers I have cleaned in the last five months!

I don’t know that there is an exact universal science with this process. I think it is different for everyone. The only basic training I had was a strong desire, and about 10 minutes of a skim through the book “Diaper Free,” plus a crash course teaching from a friend who does it with her daughter. That was it. The rest we figured out on our own.

Now, at nearly six months, Adonai is very aware of his cycles. He is noticeably entertained while he pees- he watches with delight as it goes in the potty. He prefers pooping in the potty. A few times we haven’t caught or understood his moaning cries right before he poops. After the fact, of course, we realized if we had been paying more attention we would have known he was trying to tell us! Working with elimination communication is definitely an intuitive art. I found it has brought me a deeper awareness of my child’s needs, and heightened my ability to anticipate them. It has given me much pleasure to change less diapers, to create less waste, and to have a happy naked baby around. In the end, it really is less energy expended for an outcome that is definitely worth it.

Don’t get me wrong- we still diaper him. That’s a topic for another day- our favorite types, what we have found works, and so on. He still has wet diapers. But many days I go to potty him, and he is still dry, which is so exciting! He prefers to be dry (who wouldn’t!?) and he also prefers to be naked.

Have I been peed on? Yes, a few times. Have I been pooped on? Yes, but only once, and I was sitting on the potty myself. That was a sight to behold! He had already pooped some and I thought it was my turn to sit on the potty (the big potty, of course). Last time I made that mistake! We both laughed about it. Has he peed on our a bed? Only a couple of times (those organic waterproof pads sure do come in handy!). How many times has he gone in the potty, on cue? Too many to count! Is it worth it? Definitely!



Soon I will post a more definitive guide to the art of pottying, with pictures, of course. Until then…

Ahem Prema

I wake up in the morning, (and several times during the night!), so I am constantly presented with the opportunity to start a-new. In fact, this opportunity is available all of the time- to make a new choice- to seek to change, improve, love more, be more, give more. It is easy to get lost in the fog of sleep-deprivation, the stack of dishes, the never-ending to-do list, the endless needs of my little one… and seemingly never enough time for myself.

What I have realized is how important it is for me to stay on top of my thoughts, my attitude, my level of care and attentiveness in each moment. I have always “known’ this, yet how it is represented in my life via cause and effect in relationship to my son is loud and clear! When I become out of balance my whole world turns upside down. When you are with an infant sponge 24/7, you must be mindful of your state of being, and the content of your thinking, because it affects babies so very quickly. The good thing is, infants are masters of change!

A mantra that I used to use has entered into my life again-- “Ahem Prema,” which means, “I am Divine Love.” Pouring forth love, so much so that it emanates from my being and fills me up is so easy when I remember and invoke this simple mantra “Ahem Prema.” Often throughout the day I stop, take a deep breath, and say this mantra. I image myself pouring forth light and love, and see it channel through my being, uplifting the environment around me, and most importantly, my son.

Be a master of your thoughts. When you are awake to what you are choosing to fill your mind and your heart with creates your environment, y our affect on others, and your presence as a Mama. Fill your mind and your heart with pure love, and cause it to radiate forth from the center of your being. It will give your more to give in the act of service of nurturing your child, your relationship with others, the Earth, and your Self.