Mindful Mama: Why Sign?

Communication is an integral part of our society. We use communication all day long as we interact with the world around us. Most of this communication is done verbally, however, there is a more subtle art to understanding, interpreting, and acting upon body language and postural cues. From day one I watched my son communicate with me through his eyes, his hands, his subtle body movements, his cries, his coos. It was evident that there was abundant intelligence within him, that he was processing much from me and his environment, yet I did not yet understand how to interpret everything that he was putting out. I responded using my voice and through touch, always communicating what was going on, reassuring him, soothing him, and so on. I didn't use baby talk, or talk down just because he was an infant. I expected him to understand me, and for me to understand him.

I learned through experience how to listen, how to respond, and read more into his form of communication. Babies don't have the muscle command or development to be able to speak until they are close to their first birthday, or beyond. However, all babies have the ability to use their hands and faces to express their thoughts and desires *much* earlier. I was turned on to sign language from a friend, and started reading into it while I was pregnant. "Of course!" I thought, it just makes so much sense! What are the disadvantages? I couldn't come up with any. (No seriously! I suppose taking the time to learn a new language is the only caveat). Here are some of the advantages of learning sign language, and teaching it to your children.

Communication
I began signing with my son around age five months. At first, I just introduced a few signs, such as "milk," "more" and "all done." He responded by using the milk sign back to me at about seven months. Elation! I didn't have to try to figure out what he wanted, he could tell me! Shortly after, around the time he began experimenting with solid foods, we added the sign "eat." He could clearly tell me if he wanted more of something, such as playing a certain game, reading a book, more food, or so on. The thrill of being able to give and receive this communication was nothing short of a miracle. I hear and see parents say they figure out how to communicate with their children verbally, or the child points, or whines to get what they want. There is no need for this, and in my opinion, it is so much easier to give the child the tools to communicate their desires in a healthy and productive way. Wouldn't you rather see your child sign instead of whine or cry? Much less stress, in my experience. Sometimes of course, he does forget, and might whine for a moment, and I remind him to tell me through signing what he wants. Relief runs over his face, and he shows me, and we are both happier.

Sensitivity
Learning limits, and Adonai (my son) having a clear way to feed this back to me is so important. He can tell me when he is "all done" with an experience. Perhaps it is nursing, or eating food, or playing with a playmate, or being in a busy environment like the grocery store. Rather than fussing or crying, he simply signs that he is done, and I can respond appropriately. At times, if I can't drop what I am doing (like at the grocery store), I can feed back to him that I understand his desire, "I understand you are all done with being here right now. I need to get x, y, and z from this list for us to eat, then we will go home." Just responding with sensitivity, listening, and feeding it back to him does wonders. The edge of a tantrum can be completely avoided.

Responsiveness
A deep level of trust is established once communication is consistent and reciprocated. He looks to me for answers, for feedback of the environment, for help in processing his experience. If he hurts himself, instead of crying helplessly, he can show me where the pain is by signing "hurt" and pointing to the source of pain. As mobility and curiosity grows, so does the experience of falling, tumbling, tripping, and so on. I can't catch everything visually, and sometimes accidents happen that I can't see. If I miss seeing a fall, Adonai can come to me, certainly still in tears, but is able to sign hurt and show me where. I am able to soothe him more quickly, and we can move on. He has also had tummy aches, or teething pains that otherwise I might have been guessing what was going on. I can ask him if he is hurt, he can respond signing (or saying or nodding) "yes" and showing me where. This may sound like an elementary idea, but it makes a huge difference in our daily lives!

Awareness
Babies pick up so much from their environment. It has continually amazed me when Adonai points something out, and does the sign for it, and I might have not even seen it! Yesterday he signed "frog" and it took me a moment to look around and notice that the place we were visiting did indeed have a picture on the wall with a frog in it. He has a way of identifying images in his environment, and feeding it back to me showing his understanding.
Another level of self-awareness is through listening to the body and its cycles and needs. Adonai can point out when he is hungry, thirsty, wants milk, wants to take a bath, needs to go potty, wants to go for a walk, wants to read a book, and the list goes on. These skills were acquired through months of practice, but it really just took a little bit of time every day. Signing does not take any more effort than verbal communication- it just takes a willingness to learn on behalf of the parent.